Family Night!

It's the first Friday of the New Year and would you like to know where I was... hanging out at my parents house.

Yep, I'm a dork.  We all got together for tacos and just some together time.    It was nice... but I really really wish my mother and my husband would QUIT smoking.  I always feel like crud after being there and Sean's cough is always amped up.   It just makes me cranky and tired.

Sorry folks, that's all I have the mind for right now.

Less than motivated

Feeling a little less than motivated today... I woke up all full of fire. I made blueberry waffles for the kids and Sean gobbled his up.  Sammie just started crying "I don't want waffles."

Once I got the kids and Steve out the door-- which really, I made breakfast and their lunches but Steve was the one with the patience for Sammie this morning-- I knew I was going to need a boost today.  So I took some Emergan C because my nose had been running like a faucet for about 18 hours... which is gross!  I managed to find the energy to clean up the livingroom and do some laundry... but then pfffssshh... all the air went out my tires.

I really really wanted to just go back to bed... and maybe I should have... but instead I carried on with my day. 

I went to Bible Study and that was fun... we decided we didn't want to use the set we'd been using because it was frankly, screwy theology.   In fact, we're probably going to end up writing letters of complaint to the publisher.  Who knows though.

So in other exciting news in my "world"-- well it's best to just check these out:
--Change.org website
-- News Article from Utica (NY) Observer.

Hanging with the Jody...

Today was awesome... why?  Because I got to hang out with one of my besties... Nicole.  She's headed back to London tomorrow, so to get a few hours of her time, even if she's packing is just fine with me.  I love Nicole, because our quirks fit together phenomanally.  We both tell really long stories.  Seriously-- 1 hour to tell me about their potential housing plans when 30 seconds would have done.  And I'd like to point out that we frequently say things like "to make a long story longer..." when we're together.

It was just great to get to see her... and oddly, it was probably about as frequent when she lived 50 miles away.  LOL!

Thanks, Nicole for the great day!

Getting Nutty With It!

Yeah, I'm feeling nutty alright.  I launched a second blog yesterday that was inspired by my Facebook posts about how awesome I am.  Well, if you know me, you know there's a little, maybe A LOT, of tongue in cheek there.  I decided mid-way through last year to focus on what's right instead of what's wrong with my world. In doing so, I found a lot of motivation because I have a positive attitude.  Something I don't always have.

Sammie is enjoying being titled "Private Awesome," Sean is "Sargeant Awesome" and Steve has made it all the way to "Lt. Col. Awesome."  It is kinda fun... and it's much more fun to say "You are being less than 'awesome' right now," than "Would you shut the *!#% up and quit whining and just do what you're *(&^#@ to do!"  Seriously! 

Okay, so as far as day to day life goes here in Awesome-Landia... one of us is back to work, 2 of us go back to school tomorrow and the last remaining one of us gets to slowly regain her sanity and domestic territory back.  I'm really enjoying all our time together, but the computer noises from the kitchen (which is the safest way to allow Sean to play games ) are kinda driving me crazy.  As are the random shouts at imaginary characters.  Ho hum...

And the tree... I'm having a battle of the wills with myself... It's up because it should stay up until Epiphany... but right now... I'm also tired of Oreo tossing ornaments off the tree.  It may well be that I get fed up and take it down early.  I'll feel a bit like a failure for not managing to keep it up... but maybe I can convince my husband to let not put up the tree so early.  Again... it's domestic territory that I'd like to regain-- 4 ft of floor space in my great room.

Okay... well folks... that's all for today. 

New Year, New You

Well, uhm... looks like I forgot to update anything after February of last year. 

Hmmm... I think it's because life got crazy.  In sum... Sean's fine, no further seizures; Sammie is cute, nothing new there; Steve is AWESOME, and that's been the biggest change this year.  By focusing on what's right, what's wrong kinda seems small.

I'm going to try to update more on day to day stuff, but we'll see how it goes.

I'm trying to focus on being awesome and will be beginning a big push on improving my FB page for this effort.  And I'm attempting to start a blog for that.  We'll see how that goes as well.

So more tomorrow.

Unbreak my heart...

ORIGINAL (ATTEMPTED) to post on Tuesday, Feb 22... thanks to Magic 'Manda, she pointed out things were saving to draft instead of publishing... a few days late).

Yesterday, we held our rescheduled "Fun Friday" to "Fun Monday" to accomodate some of the participants naughty behavior.  It wasn't my kids on Friday, but I was tempted to can Fun Monday for the same reason yesterday.

Our craft of the day ended up being stretchy cord necklace kits that sell for $1 a piece at Michaels.  We were able to find something all the girls would love and all the boys.  The girls made purple, flowery peace necklaces.  The boys made red, white and blue peace necklaces.  Sean, as usual, did not want to make his, but he wanted to wear it.  I wasn't surprised.  Crafting isn't  really Sean's cup of tea.  He asked if I would make his for him.  Since it was a 20 minute craft for the kids, it took me 2 minutes to string and tie off the stretchy cord.

When Sammie was headed out the door at the end of Fun Monday to sleep over at the neighbors, because of Sean's 8 am EEG scheduled in Ann Arbor, Sean suddenly got really emotional.  At first I thought he was upset that Sammie was getting a weeknight sleepover.  Instead he had just told Steve that Mommy had made his necklace for me. Sean jumped off the floor, hugged me and said, "I like it so much Mommy.  You made it for me and it reminds me that you're always with me."  MELT MY HEART.

Today, during his EEG, he would periodically reach up and touch his necklace.  When he did, his feet stopped wiggling and he settled down.  If he wanted to give me a hug or hold my hand during his EEG and this was the way he could get around not being able to jump out of his chair.

Imagine his dismay when I pointed out tonight at bedtime that he could not wear it to school.  He got all teary-eyed and was quite upset wanting to know why.  It's St Mary's policy that all jewelry must be religious in nature-- so cross necklace is okay, giant wooden peace sign, not so much.  [Though, I could probably make a strong argument why it would be okay... but I'm not willing to make a federal case out of it].  So I offered to make him a necklace he could wear in school.

Are you kidding me?! With all the supplies I have, all I could find was a cheap little celtic style cross that I bought at Wal-Mart when I first started beading.  Goodness, gracious.  I really want a small wooden cross!  So here I sit, blog-plaining (that blogging and whining), and trying to figure out how to make this work. So it's red, white and blue, includes a cross and is kid-friendly/safe.  Oh boy...

It just kinda broke my heart when he proclaimed, "If I can't wear my necklace, you can't make me go to school.  Nu-uh, I'm not going!"  My indulgent side wanted to say, I'll talk to your teacher... but we were told by the neurologist today to treat him like a normal kid-- no special rules (especially since the ways he's special have nothing to do with scaring the crap out of us 10 days ago!).  I'm glad he started to smile and wipe his tears when I said, "Sean, I'll make you something dress-code appropriate"

But don't think I won't be on the look out for  a nice little wooden cross, instead of a cheap base-metal cross.  I'd rather he have a natural material on his skin, not nickel!

You gotta have friends...

Next to my family, my friends are very important to me.  Often, I don't really even distinguish between my family and really great friends.  My really great girlfriends, whom I call my BFFs, are really like sisters.

When I meet new people and it seems that a friendship is forming, I always hope that it will evolve into a sisterhood, like several others.  I've tried many different ways of fostering this kind of sisterhood relationship, and it often feels like I'm trying to buy the new friend's favor.  When I look at things, these sisterhood friendships have evolved on their own.  Without my attempts to get people to like me.  I can't seem to learn that friendships must grow on their own and not be forced to become something that they are not.  In some cases friendships fail... whether through not enough love, cooperation, commitment or general compatibility.

These last few weeks, one particular friendship has been weighing heavily on my heart.  I can't seem to connect with this person and I can't seem to accept some of the choices this person is making, which at times are negatively impacting me.  (For the record, I'm not talking about Wendell!!).  And I've been feeling badly as I feel the distance growing and I've  been feeling responsible for the distance growing between us.  I'm always the one responsible, right?! (rolling my eyes with that little hang up).

Today in church, Father Reyna was talking about how we cannot control what happens to us, only how we respond and how we can respond.  (Yes, Meggles, you've told me this a million times, but I wasn't getting it until today)  And it dawned on me that this relationship I've been worrying about is toxic.  I behave badly in response to this person's behavior and choices.  I'm acting with immaturity (a bit of an eye for an eye justice) and I need to approach this with prayer and turning the other cheek. 

So, we'll see how this goes.  I don't think it's right for me to pray for this person's choices-- because that implies a judgment on my part and I need to be less judgmental.  Instead, I will pray for guidance in this relationship and other new friendships that are forming in my life right now.  I will God show me where I need to be instead of trying to be somewhere that is not right. 

Sadly, I don't really want to reconcile, make up, or own up to anything in this failing friendship.  I feel spent by this situation... I've been at this point before with other people and fought hard to make it work, but it was a one-sided fight.  I don't want to go through that again or subject someone else to that kind of pain.  I guess if confronted, I'll be gently honest about how I feel, but as of right now, I'm taking the high road and letting God tell me what to do and how to handle things.  I am opting to no longer stoop to the level that involves retribution and judgment. 

And as we're coming up on Lent, I'm going to start early on my Lenten challenge for this year. (Yes, I know it's supposed to be a sacrifice, but I call it a challenge, becaue sometimes I sacrifice by giving up something and others by taking on something to improve my character-- which in many ways is a sacrifice because I need to give up the easy way of doing things).  My challenge  for this year is to stop gossiping.  I need to not involve myself in that malicious, toxic behavior and act towards others with goodness and concern. 

It will be with the aid of my friends that I hold myself accountable to God in this one.  Because... you gotta have friends.