It turns out that my getting ill in June happened again and again over the summer... I lost a huge amount of weight, mostly because I wasn't eating and what I did eat, didn't sit well. In September, I went back to the Dr one more time and said, okay, something is wrong. My Nurse Practitioner (NP) agreed and next thing you know, within a week, I'd had and EGD (that's down the mouth) and a colonoscopy (that's up the... well you know) and a boatload of blood work. I was tired, frustrated and getting spiritually weary. I'd laid awake many nights feeling ill and worried about all the things that still hadn't gotten done and still won't get done the next day... and to get myself to fall asleep, I'd recite Hail Mary's, Our Father's and the Doxology (i.e. Glory Be).
After having a NP, a chiropractor and a gastroenterologist, the only thing we've found measurably wrong with me is a very low B-12 level. That is to say, I do not have cancer, a brain tumor, or anything else life threatening. Well, I suppose untreated, B-12 deficiency can probably mess me up severely, but I'm not dying or anything. I started taking bi-weekly shots and retested only to find it had gone down below very low to deficient. I'm now giving myself weekly B-12 injections. The good news is, I learned a lot this summer and fall:
- I don't have to do it all and no one was actually expecting me to;
- I married the most amazing man for ME... and while I was questioning why he was still hanging around (and many friends explained that he loved me), he apparently never did;
- My kids are capable and willing to do far more than I'd asked them to and I'm now learning to teach them to be more independent people [huh, they can put their own laundry away? they can do dishes?! they can dust and vacuum?!?!]
- My parents are AWESOME and helped out all over the place!
- I have an amazing support system of local friends and family to people spread all over the country... one friend, in particular, seemed to call almost daily to check up on me [Thanks B!]. Those that found out later or during the crummy summer/fall on record were, like my friend Angel in a previous post, upset that I had not called upon them.
- In fact, most of this did not hit home with me until the kids went back to school and all my St Mary's Mommy-friends caught wind of my "misery" and offered hugs, listening, and help where needed. Not one single on of them judged me-- and if there were people judging me, I didn't hear about it so they probably are not my friends and I don't really care!
BEFORE:
I think my butt is in Indiana...
AFTER:
I fit in between the cars in the garage...
